Marni Grossman

Photography

Marni Grossman

If it doesn’t challenge you, it doesn’t change you.

by 4 Comments

 

“Focus on the outcome not the obstacles”  became my mantra as I was wrapped in a mess of tent, poles and wires.”

It began when I was approached by a woman’s adventure tour company to do a barter –  a 10 day sea kayak trip to Haida Gwaii (formerly known as The Queen Charlotte Islands) in exchange for professional travel photography of the trip with unlimited usage rights.

My first thought was, “Kayaking while Photographing? I don’t think so.”  Then I thought,  “Kayaking in the middle of beautiful nowhere, with a group of woman, doing the thing I love most? Hell, yes!”  So I agreed.

Guess I should have read the Disclaimer before making my decision.

It read:

‘This is an active adventure, sea kayaking in back-country. Novices welcome. 

Should be comfortable

*    in and on the water, as there may be unexpected winds;

*    carrying sea kayaks and gear over rough, rocky beaches past the high tide line and  back;

*   back-country tent camping; and

*   paddling a fully-loaded sea kayak for 4-6 hrs.

What I didn’t realize at the time was that this trip would push me beyond any recognizable place within myself.

© Marni Grossman Photography – To purchase any photographs on this blog please contact marni@marnigrossman.com.

The prep wasn’t too bad. I received a list of what to bring.  Some of the gear I had from other adventure photographic trips I’d taken and other stuff like dry bags, I had to purchase. My biggest challenge was preparing for taking photographs for 10 days in the wild, most of which would be on water, with no power to charge dead batteries, as well as, weight and space consideration.

Stepping off this 24-seat airplane onto the tarmac surrounded by unfamiliar people, 4,000 miles from home in the middle of nowhere, lugging stuffed dry bags and Pelican cases filled with camera equipment and no one to meet us was just the beginning of what looked like a hellish journey.

Apparently, the way to get to the house we would spend the night at, was to walk from the Sandspit airport. Without knowing where we were actually going, the other women, adventurous and determined, loaded up their gear and just started walking, leaving me behind.  I had two camera cases on top of my 2 bags and couldn’t leave any of it behind. After a time, someone from the tiny airport offered me a shopping cart like the ones you see in grocery stores to help me shlep my gear so I could try to catch up with the others. ‘Ever push a heavy shopping cart on a gravel road’?

© Marni Grossman Photography – To purchase any photographs on this blog please contact marni@marnigrossman.com.

The first morning we had an hour-and-a-half ride in a large old bus through the woods; then a 3 hour boat ride to get to the top of the Island to pick up our kayaks, food, tents etc. ; and then a half day paddle to get to our first camping spot.

We were all given a kayak, single or double and assigned a part of the kayak to pack up each morning and unpack each night. Have you ever seen a sea kayak?  The mounds of stuff we had to pack in there seemed like an impossible task.  I’d never been in or have ever packed a sea kayak and my camping experience was minimal to say the least. I realized I was out of my depth and in big trouble but there was no going back.

Thank god, I was assigned a double kayak with one of the guides so I could photograph while she paddled through the choppy water.  However the guide had her own agenda and stopping for me to take focused photographs was not part of it.

We finally arrived and I have to say it was the most gorgeous landscape I’d seen in a long time – quiet, serene, and stunning wilderness as far as the eye could see.
We were each handed a tent and told to find a place to set it up.  Really? I had a little pep talk with myself and thought , “Okay, yes! I can do this!”  I found a sweet little spot in the woods not too far from the others, with what looked like a soft leafy place to sleep. After much effort, I found myself all wrapped up in tent and wires and frustrated beyond belief. I looked around me and saw all the other women, mostly middle aged like me or older, tents up and ready for the next task. Thankfully, someone took pity on me and came to my rescue. That day I made my first friend on the trip. The others didn’t send me the warm and fuzzies, probably thinking that I was just the photographer and likely wasn’t going to do my share.

© Marni Grossman Photography – To purchase any photographs on this blog please contact marni@marnigrossman.com.

Tasks ahead were: gathering fire wood; making and tending to the fire; preparing dinner; cleaning up after we ate, all with us all racing against the setting sun. I’d never been so tired in all my life and wished I could magically have been airlifted home to my cozy bed. I climbed into my little tent, the darkness all around and I remembered why I hated camping – I don’t like small spaces and how could I be expected to sleep on the hard, damp ground.  I slept like a baby.

The next morning, (was it really only Day Two?)  I woke up with everything I owned, soaking wet. I didn’t realize with the nightfall came the dampness, being next to the sea, in the wilderness. I quickly learned how to pack up my clothing in dry bags at night and cover my sleeping bag with a tarp while I slept. Thank god for the Pelican cases for my camera gear.

My next ah ha moment was when I went to look for my clean underwear and toothbrush. Next time I do this, (NEVER), I will buy all different color dry bags to be able to identify what’s inside.  Mine were all green, like a cute, little set – not good when everything is rolled and smooshed in like sardines and you can’t remember where you packed anything. It seemed like every time I went for something it was always in the last bag I looked.

This morning we were racing against the tides. I could feel the pressure from everyone waiting for me to be done my chores, packing my part of the boat and then strapping my camera gear to the top of the kayak, leaving out the one body and lens that I would shoot with that day. And when all that was finally done I needed help to get in the boat while carrying the camera and huge lens, which in itself was a humiliating process as the women waited impatiently.

I came to take photographs and quickly realized that I would get no special treatment and I would need to pull my weight as a full member of this adventure tour, which I was clearly not prepared for. The group was small and they needed every member to do their share. The challenges were endless.
Within a few days, I had toughened up and learned that I was capable of so much more than I thought. I came away feeling strong, confident, loved and inspired.  The landscape was exquisite, the Haida cultural history fascinating and the opportunities for gorgeous photography were endless.  It truly was “A place where you can still feel the warm breath of the creator spilling softly across your face.” unknown

Besides a new and improved self image, a stronger body and a great group of new pals, the gift in all of this was my connection with the Eagles. They were on every treetop, at every turn, young and old. Magnificently beautiful, strong and fierce.

© Marni Grossman Photography – To purchase any photographs on this blog please contact marni@marnigrossman.com.

 

My Initiation Into the World of Film and TV

by 1 Comment

Michael Douglas

 

It’s that time of year again in Toronto when the already traffic-jammed streets are lined with film trucks and trailers directed by bored traffic cops moving along drivers slowing down, hoping for a glimpse of a movie star.  Yes, our dollar is down and the American dollar up, as well as the Canadian government’s enticing incentives for the US movie companies. The film industry once again is booming in our fair city filled with hopeful actors and bustling movie sets.

In 1979, I was 24 and fresh out of photography school. From the outset, I had big dreams to be a stills photographer in this exciting world of film. How hard could it be? After all I had connections through a cousin living in LA who was a film director, moving his way quickly up through the ranks of Hollywood. Let’s call him Mark, to keep him anonymous. I was certain he would help me get into the film business, after all we were close when he lived in Toronto, and what is family for if not to help each other.

I got up the nerve to call and ask him if he was willing to help me make some connections. His response was not what I expected. He said, “No I’m not willing to help you. I made it on my own and so can you.” I couldn’t believe it. Feeling deflated,  unsupported and frankly pretty pissed off,  I had one of those “welcome-to-being-an adult realizations” that if I was going to make my dreams come true, I was going to have to do it on my own. Mark was my only connection to the film world and now that connection was broken.

Disheartened but determined, I got a job to support myself, as a colour printer, as well as working as a freelance photographer at the Toronto Sun.  One night I went to see a fantastic live production of The Rocky Horror Picture Show at the Rex Danforth. I took photographs from my seat.  The shots were pretty good so I asked the producers if I could sell prints in the lobby during intermissions.  They agreed. I made a massive quantity of prints at my day job and sold them for $2 apiece. It was a humble beginning but my dream looked far away down a rocky path.

Jon Favreau

The next summer, Mark came to Toronto to direct a film with Michael Douglas.  Still hopeful he would give me an opportunity on set, he just invited me to come to the set for lunch. Lunch? I thought, What good is that going to do me? I want to work. I was not happy about the way he ignored our familial bonds but took him up on his offer anyway. I came and had lunch with him and to my surprise, Michael Douglas joined us. Michael was very sweet and it was a big thrill for me being that he was the first movie star I had ever met.

I was allowed on set after lunch to watch. I realized that I needed to turn this “lunch” into an opportunity. I nervously introduced myself to the stills photographer. His name was Shin Sugino, who later became a very successful commercial photographer. Thankfully he took to me, and perhaps moved by my youthful exuberance to shadow him, he let me stay on set. Later that day he asked if I wanted to cover a scene with him. I was both scared to death and excited beyond belief.

 

MARNIG12R

Susan Sarandon                            Sissy Spacek

 

Shin gave me a camera loaded with film and told me where to position myself during the take. Here was my first big chance to shoot on a real set. He shot and I shot. After the set up was finished he gave me his camera and told me to take out the roll and reload. I was so nervous that I forgot to rewind the roll first before I opening the back of the camera.  I thought I was going to have a heart attack. I quickly snapped it shut again, rewound the roll, took it out, and quickly reloaded. I thought I had ruined his day’s work but didn’t have the courage to tell him. I was sure that this was the end of my ridiculously short career as a set photographer. What I didn’t know at the time was that stills photographers, shoot thousands of frames and the Studios use only about 25 shots in the final promo package so he probably wouldn’t even have noticed the three or four shots that got exposed.

 

 

Gerald Butler

But on that day, I slinked away believing I had ruined a chance at fulfilling my dreams. Despite this awful day (that, by the way, I have never told anyone about before now), armed with my tenacious nature and a clear goal, I continued working hard at making connections and learning more about how to be the best at what I do, if ever another opportunity arrived. At the time, with the impatience of youth, it seemed like that might never happen.

However, later that year I got my first job on a feature film, hired by Robert Sax, who was a friend and the assistant producer on the film. He took a chance on me even though I had virtually no professional experience. This time I was ready and it changed my life. That first job began my 37 year career of working as a stills photographer in the film and tv industry.

Looking back, taking into account my life experiences both challenging and extraordinary, I realize that my cousin perhaps did have my best interest at heart after all and had he helped me when I asked him, I may not have worked as hard to develop the skills I needed to help me in this tough world of film. Perhaps he knew I too had the tenacity, strength and determination, like him, to do whatever it took to succeed in turning my dreams into reality. I owe my friend Robert and my cousin Mark, my deepest gratitude both for giving me, and not giving me a break.

Marni

FullSizeRender-10a
Will Farrell

All photographs by Marni Grossman

Toronto Uncovered – My story about love, loss, forced change & a love of architecture.

by 5 Comments

River St. West Toronto Marni Grossman Photography
River St. W. Toronto.

Each city‘s heartbeat is defined by its architecture, landscape, art, culture and people. A moment captured can depict its uniqueness. ‘Toronto Uncovered’ is a story about my newly discovered love for architecture and building, as it became a metaphor for life, healing and growth.

As I look around our sprawling city of Toronto, I see demolition everywhere, entire neighbourhoods being transformed before our very eyes. A clearing out of the old, making space for growth, renewal and revitalization. Our little city is becoming a mega metropolis. People are being asked to leave their homes and start over. What it takes for growth to occur is frightening. It’s a letting go process, a sense of free falling, stepping forward into the unknown. We either become part of the change, or we don’t. The choice is ours.

Dreaming Toronto Marni Grossman Photography
Dreaming

I believe the process is the same for people. In order for each of us to grow and change, we need to take a good hard look in the mirror, and let go of what doesn’t seem to work in our lives anymore from relationships, to jobs, health and lifestyle. Each of us needs to be brave enough to step into the darkness, and face our demons. We need to break down our walls, and expose ourselves to our own truths and vulnerabilities. I believe that is where our true strength comes from, and the pathway to finding our soft heart. It is from that place, our core, that we can rebuild our foundation. Similar to building a house, if you build on a weak foundation, you are always going to have to face one disaster after another, until it slowly falls apart.

In the mid 90’s, I was dealing with a devastating heartbreak. I was a single mom with two beautiful young children looking to begin again. I had dreamt of us all building a small home together in a remote part of northern Ontario, and realized that the dream I thought was ours, was actually mine and I needed to move forward on my own and make it happen. I needed to heal my heart and put my life back together.

Brickworks Toronto Marni Grossman Photography
Brickworks, Toronto

I put all my heartache into my photography, worked as hard as I could and saved and saved. That spring, I was led to a beautiful eighteen acre wooded property on a small unpopulated lake up north in Ontario. As I drove down the 900’ windy driveway, I knew I was home. I stood at the property’s edge looking at the lake, listened to the trees talk to each other, and realized this property and this project will heal me. I used every last cent I had (and then some), to purchase it. I miraculously secured a building loan from a bank and so it began. I leapt into the abyss with my eyes closed. I designed a modest house on a scrap of paper and asked a designer friend to draw up some plans. I then found a brilliant local builder who was willing to take on my small, unconventional project. We began to work together to make my dream become a reality. It was a creative collaborative endeavour that needed to stick to very strict budget.

We began by dismantling the original structure standing on the property when I bought it, consisting of a plethora of 40’ long pine logs. Each log was milled and reused. I discovered that all of those pine logs were cut down from the property many years before. We used the wood to create the framework and detailing for my new home. As construction progressed, I began to feel as though I was rebuilding myself from the inside out. It was an incredible healing process. It was one of the biggest risks I had ever taken and one of the most incredible experiences I have ever had. I tapped into a creative flow I didn’t know was there. I knew absolutely nothing about building a house when I began, and had no money to build it.

Upon completion, I was amazed at what we had accomplished together. I took a huge risk and to my surprise, my heart too had healed in the process. I had put my life back together and had been gifted with a new love for architecture and building.

This process became a metaphor for life, loving and healing, beginning anew. It’s always best to become part of the change.

Marni

Condo in Toronto Marni Grossman Photography
Condo in Toronto

 

 

 

White Spirit Bears In Their Natural Habitat, My Story.

by 1 Comment

Spirit Bears British Columbia
Photo: Marni Grossman

During my endless quest of learning to love myself, care for my family and search for my own inner peace and beauty, I discovered my gift – seeing beauty in everything and everybody, even when it isn’t apparent at first glance. My authentic self needs the freedom and space to soar and express the love I feel through my photography. I feel the deep need to share that gift with the world today. It is what I know.

Fine Art Photography Marni Grossman British Columbia Spirit Bears
Photo: Marni Grossman

Several years back, I traveled into the wilds of the Central Coast of British Columbia, Canada, with my friend and guide Douglas Neasloss, now chief of the First Nations’ community, Kitasoo GitGat, in the hopes of finding and photographing the elusive White Spirit Bears in their natural habitat. We were skeptical after running into four other people on their way home from an unsuccessful search for these elusive bears for four weeks. By some miracle, WE FOUND THEM.

Once I got over my initial fear and began to relax, I discovered that I was in the midst of thee MOST exquisite landscape I had ever witnessed, standing five feet away from the most beautiful 700 lb white mama bear and her two 1 year old baby black cubs.

For some reason, us being there didn’t seem to threaten her at all.

As the days unfolded, I began to see the similarities between the mama bear with her cubs and my own personal situation being a single parent with two small children. My struggles were her struggles and vice versa.

To my surprise, I also began to see my strength and beauty reflected in hers.

That simple fact touched me deeply. I felt such a compassionate connection with her and saw the love in her eyes when she looked at her cubs. There seemed to be a mutual respect between us. I suppose there was a reason she let us spend three days in and around her and her cubs while she taught them the laws of the land and the skills of salmon fishing.  Perhaps she felt the connection as well, and it somehow helped us both not feel quite so alone.

I am drawn to helping preserve this tenuous landscape and the last of our large beasts.

What seems to touch me most in todays world is both how we as a human race have greedily burned through thousands of year of natural resources in less than 100 yrs and how we can be so negligent with our beautiful natural world, which I believe is our true source of fulfillment.

In all its magnificence, our beautiful planet is asking for nothing but to be cherished, protected and its balance respected. I believe we all need to do our part. More than anything, I am drawn to helping preserve this tenuous landscape and the last of our large beasts.

Marni

Click the image below to see the bears in action!

Screen Shot 2016-04-18 at 12.27.41 PM
Video: Marni Grossman Editing By: Rhonda Bruce

***Please note: As you can see, these are black bears but the Spirit Bears are white because of a recessive gene. A black mom can have a white cub and a white mom a black cub.

SNAP! Event Information

by Leave a Comment

12697303_1202494336445644_8367156007398269450_o

Thank you for supporting SNAP! and the AIDS Committee of Toronto.

SNAP! 2016 will take place on Thursday, March 31st, 2016 at the Bram & Bluma Appel Salon at the Toronto Reference Library. Public previews will take place March 18 & 19th at the Nicholas Metivier Gallery.

On March 31st, the doors open at 6:00 pm, and the live auction begins at 7:00 pm sharp! SNAP! 2016 includes a live and silent auction, complimentary h’ors d’oeuvres, and a host bar.

Marni Grossman Photography is pleased to have 4 pieces of Fine Art Photography hanging in the SNAP 2016 silent auction.
www.facebook.com/snaptoronto/